Couples Therapy

We all have relationship issues we need to work on, it's part of being human

Couple sharing an intimate moment in nature

In the early stages of meeting an intimate partner, everyone is on their best behaviour to impress each other. Once we settle into that relationship, we start to experience the less positive behaviours of each other (we all have them!), and if those behaviours are minor (he doesn't put the toilet seat down, she doesn't clean up the kitchen, for example) and if they're balanced by lots of wonderful positive behaviours, there probably isn't an issue. But, if these problematic behaviours affect how you feel about yourself and your partner, it's time for professional help.

As a child, we learn about relationships and about ourselves, from our parents/carers and how they treat us, we then unconsciously bring this unconscious knowledge into the intimate relationship (the past comes into the present). For example, as a child, Lucy got up out of bed some mornings on her own and had to feed and dress herself, because her parents were hung over and asleep, they were "unavailable" to her. She learnt not to rely on others in adulthood and felt unimportant/unlovable, which she played out in her intimate relationships with others who were also unavailable, like her parents (this is a brief example, but can be more complex).

Couples Therapy is about understanding what you want and need from your relationship, and what you're not getting. By understanding what you've learnt in your past about relationships and yourself, we can unravel, understand and make changes accordingly. Sometimes, it's possible to change a relationship, and other times not, depending on yours and your partners expectations, emotional capacity and desire to change.